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Not even 5 am work wakeups on Saturday could stop me from releasing what might be our best (non-dinosaur) podcast EVER!
http://www.fan-service.org/features/podcast/podcast.htm -
Well goddamn it, that was so freaking awesome!
Goggles and Joel c'est un top-notch podcast.
Gawd, just.... wow.... errr... Oh my god cowboy bebop is back on tv!
And I freaking missed the first episode... right.
Anyway I need to listen to it again tomorrow for some reason I can't think straight, go figure:
http://www.my-bier.de/gfx/i_hibbo.jpg
No that's not me...and that looks like cola.
I was going to put a picture of myself here in my current state but my camera died on me.
And yeah that's an excuse cause I'm a 14 year old girl who runs at anime confensions naked... -
Okay sorry 'bout that, I will listen to it later and post some stuff.
Aight, later dudes. -
Dave, I will say that I've found a broken link, and reported, once before.
Also, when I get really bored I read one of your reviews. I read Gantz a couple days ago. I still can't decide if I want to waste my time on it or not. -
Time once again for the rave yet brutal review of and commentary on the fan-service podacast! I'm you're host Matthew Altieri, webmaster and creator of nothing at all.
This week's podcast is The Ultimate in Segue Technology.
This review and commentary features two new additions: an actual review and an endearing and heart-warming story at the end.
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The Review
Gentle Reader, your rating scale, perhaps some day the official fan-service rating nomenclature.
5.0 Penultimate Propers!
4.5 Mad Propers!
4.0 Propers!
3.5 Frickin' Sweet
3.0 Not Quite Crazy Robots
2.5 It's Not the Size That Matters
2.0 Yes It Is
1.5 Skabs Liked It
1.0 Japan As Usual
0.5 Burn it
0.0 Burn Yourself
I have to say this is by far my favorite podcast to date. Of course, my name gets mentioned twice, but really that's beside the point. I will not be bribed!
It's not even necessarily that it was funnier or more interesting than past entries -- although it does have its moments -- so much as an increase in cohesion and an elevated sense of production values, insofar as a podcast can convey. From start to finish the pacing was better, the sense of listening to an actual program rather than just two guys talking all things geekdom has increased, and the overall flow was smoother as well.
The change of closer to a random clip of cut conversation is welcome. Even with rude subject matter it comes off so much more professional than Dave & Joel screaming something obscure.
Tastes may vary.
Another welcome change was the sparse instances of bickering between our hosts. This actually is what I was looking for. Essentially something to differentiate between hosts. Otherwise known as Joel gettin' ballsy. It's a dash of seasoning that honestly helps it sound more natural.
The only detrement to the podcast, which unfortunately bars it from the ultimate score of a Penultimate Propers, are a few too many instances of indeciferable conversation caused by Dave & Joel talking over each other.
This poscast earns a
4.5
Mad Propers!
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The Commentary
Anti-future comic (tm)
teh uber lolz!
My geek organ has been stimulated!
Gun technology
Seriously, have you read gun magazine's lately? They have guns now that literally massage your balls to enhance the redneck experience!
Gun technology will never stagnate.
Musket-work
"Work" nominally, of course.
I am suddenly reminded of a bit Bill Hicks did on the American government's habit of giving their old tech, i.e. Scuds, to countries we then go blow up.
[quote="Bill Hicks"]You have the Scud? Well, we have the Patriot. The Scud times two, you fucks!
Just keep giving them the shitty shit.
We'll go to war with Mexico, they'll be using muskets...
"American won a war with this!"
Yeah, a hundred years ago!! We got new shit now!
Ssssssszzzz...
"What's that?"
It's musket repellant!
Er, anyway...
Musket spray
Not to be confused with musket repellant...
Dave, are you referring to a blunderbluss?
The thing that sucked about muskets was that used a soft-lead bullet.
Imagine catching that in the chest.
The thing would push through soft-tissue and expand on contact with harder materials like bone. And then there's the lead poisoning...
Truly sexy.
I always have this image however of a man catching a musket ball in the face and it wrapping around his head...
Contrary Joel
As I said previously, all your base are in my crotch. You do as I damn well tell you!
Marriage
I thought gay marriage was illegal in PA, as it is in Ohio.
The fed's will be storming in any moment.
Because of course gay married people who do a webcomic about robots are terrorists of the worst sort!
Seriously, Dave scares me just by existing.
Incidentally, who's to say Dave isn't the contrary one?
I do recall us getting into it over at the alpha-shade forums before he realized he's always wrong...
Got Boobs?
Thank you for reminding me to catch a flight out on the next alien space-craft that happens by. I hate my species and would prefer to be sodomized by the probes of evil aliens.
Germain
1 propers for the use of this word, Dave
Podcasters talking about boobs
Dave. Dude. THEY SUCK!
They're still gonna be talking about the boobs they see on their neighbors in the geriatric ward (all ten stretched-out feet of them) when you're bangin' starlets from all the fame Front Beat will bring you.
Shut up. Justified my ass, you should have been pleased by the implied compliment of some fucktards with nothing but 3 drops of gism for brains between them saying you suck. No different than people with no taste who like terrible, terrible media hating the truly inspired and artful entries into the market.
It's just that they don't understand it.
38-year old japanese virgins who live with their parents
Jesus, Dave...
Seriously, tell us how you really feel.
Actually I really enjoyed this part.
"I know it sounds crazy, but sometimes people have different opinions..."
No they don't.
Crazy is defined as everyone who isn't me.
The picture which felates Dave
I mean 'elates'.
Which picture is this?
Overcompensating, and what Rowland calls it
[quote="Jeffrey Rowwland"]100% true stories from a mansion in a swamp.
andA 100% real journal comic about things that actually happen.
Handsome boy etc.
You're right. No clue what you're talking about.
Desertion
Two mentions in one podcast. Ecstasy!
And is that really the right word for the situation? Desertion? The act of deserting or being deserted?
Nevertheless, that's what I'm talking about!
The First Fan-Service Podcast Impromptu Make Fun of Jerry and Skabs Drama Thing Dramatization
Speaking of long titles...
The substance of the dramatization
Amazing, the rampant stupidity that can occur when too many geeks live together, isn't it.
Witness a jam session in Detroit among me and mine compatriots.
A good fifteen minutes of surprisingly decend impromptu rhythmic chanty shaman something with a bunch of intelligent guys constantly looking for surfaces or objects to make interesting noises.
During a lull before another bout of jamming, my friend Sonllos (names changed to protect the Polish) picks up a lead to an amp. The following is a direct transcript of events.
"9 different conversations going on*
Sonllos: Hey, I know what would make a neat sound!
*one or two people turn to him to hear his idea, the other conversations continue*
Sonllos: *dead serious* *and sober* Lets strip this wire and stick it into an electrical socket!
*all conversations stop, stares abound, crickets are heard*
Sonllos: *after a pause, sudden surprise and fear on his face* NO! That would be a really bad idea!
Sonllos, incidentally, has an IQ of like 165.
Well, it was funny to me... >.>
24
Your segue machine broke.
The Best of the Best
What the hell do you call the sequal to a movie with that title? The Bestest of the Best of the Best?
Joel is whipped
This is surprising, somehow?
Girls
Do. Not. Get. Me. Started. I'm pretending to be anything other than the misogynist we all know I am on account of being lonely (and horny enough to kill bull-elephants from the excess hormones excreted in my sweat) and wanting something warm, soft, female (and horny enough to etc.) to share my bed.
If you give me a relapse I'll be screwed for another 3 years.
Nataraja. TMI, Every day, all the time.
Closer
Are we talking the old-school hole in the desert in Star Wars or the one in the remake when the alien mouth thing comes out of it?
Because given the choice, I think I'd take the old one.
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And now, another new addition to the cabaret of pithy commentary, I bring you an unrelated event from my own life.
A girl I know who has tried to sleep with every guy I've ever seen, anywhere, ever, and usually succeeded, has recently had children.
By recently I mean that they're several years old and I just found out. I wish I had known sooner; I need to update my CPO.
The thing is... well...
Picture a girl walking through a crowd of sweaty men with masking tape wrapped around her hand. Every guy she passes, she adheres the tape to his skin and then peels it off, pulling hairs, dead skin cells, dried remnants of sweat, bacteria, dust mites, and god knows what else, away from the skin and onto the tape, where it remains.
She never changes the tape, never even makes an effort to perhaps knock some of the accrued grime off.
Now, after many years of this, always with the same tape, she chews it up and swallows it, and then attempts to kiss you.
Yeah, that kind of girl.
Despite the myriad candidates for fatherhood of her two children, I am solidly convinced that they are in fact not human children at all but sentient STDs.
The annihilation of man is at hand. Get your shots.
Last but not least, propers to Dave for the bitchin' forum title with which I have been blessed. -
Mozesh, your drunk posts make me laugh.
So am I Goggles now?
[quote="Nataraja"]It's not even necessarily that it was funnier or more interesting than past entries -- although it does have its moments -- so much as an increase in cohesion and an elevated sense of production values, insofar as a podcast can convey. From start to finish the pacing was better, the sense of listening to an actual program rather than just two guys talking all things geekdom has increased, and the overall flow was smoother as well.
You're gonna hate this week's. All we DO is babble.Anti-future comic (tm)
teh uber lolz!
My geek organ has been stimulated!
I'm gonna have to start using that more.Gun technology
Seriously, have you read gun magazine's lately? They have guns now that literally massage your balls to enhance the redneck experience!
Gun technology will never stagnate.
Probably not, but I know precious little about such things. 90% of my knowledge comes from what I research for Front Beat because, really, I just don't care about guns. They hold exactly zero interest to me in my personal life. I'm better obsessing about cartoons and sexual gratification.The thing would push through soft-tissue and expand on contact with harder materials like bone. And then there's the lead poisoning...
Truly sexy.
You are scary.I always have this image however of a man catching a musket ball in the face and it wrapping around his head...
LOL!! BUGZ BUNNIES!!Because of course gay married people who do a webcomic about robots are terrorists of the worst sort!
If this is the publicity stunt Skabs and I need to get famous, then I will take the bullet.Seriously, Dave scares me just by existing.
What'd I do?
Incidentally, who's to say Dave isn't the contrary one?
Duuuuuuuuuh.I do recall us getting into it over at the alpha-shade forums before he realized he's always wrong...
I don't remember always being wrong.Podcasters talking about boobs
Dave. Dude. THEY SUCK!
They're still gonna be talking about the boobs they see on their neighbors in the geriatric ward (all ten stretched-out feet of them) when you're bangin' starlets from all the fame Front Beat will bring you.
Glad to knwo you have so much confidence in the product! Yeah, I'm sure I've had more sex than the whole of them combined, not to mention I only weigh half as much as ONE of them... but I just have this extreme character flaw. I can't STAND people not liking me, even people I vitrulently -hate-. It's weird, but it's just what I do.38-year old japanese virgins who live with their parents
Jesus, Dave...
Seriously, tell us how you really feel.
You have discovered the #1 thing I hate about anime. It had to come out sometime.The picture which felates Dave
I mean 'elates'.
Which picture is this?
http://www.fan-service.org/reviews/rimages/ghost/sacbooty.jpg
We talked about this in a prior podcast. Booty-licious!Handsome boy etc.
You're right. No clue what you're talking about.
It's a hip-hop alliance project by producers Dan "The Automator" Nakamura and Prince Paul. They're really quite good, but it was a little off the cuff.
http://www.handsomeboymodelingschool.com/And is that really the right word for the situation? Desertion? The act of deserting or being deserted?
Ah ah ah! DISSERTION!
...do I need to work on my diction!Girls
Do. Not. Get. Me. Started. I'm pretending to be anything other than the misogynist we all know I am on account of being lonely (and horny enough to kill bull-elephants from the excess hormones excreted in my sweat) and wanting something warm, soft, female (and horny enough to etc.) to share my bed.
If you give me a relapse I'll be screwed for another 3 years.
I wouldn't consider myself a misogynist (though some people might disagree), but I can be noticably not-so-nice to girls. Naturally this does not lead to long term relationships... but it can get you a lot of sex! Here's the trick guys: if you want a girl, just be mean.
But you'll cry yourself to sleep at night.
Better to just be nice and win in the end?Closer
Are we talking the old-school hole in the desert in Star Wars or the one in the remake when the alien mouth thing comes out of it?
Because given the choice, I think I'd take the old one.
I'm not gonna say who this is, because there's a chance that this person's friend might read this and then reveal that we were ridiculing her. This is fine, and I'm not scared of reprisal, but I spend a good deal of time with this OTHER person and it would make things rather uncomfortable.
Basically it's a really fat annoying bitch that was being really fat loud and annoying, and Joel likened her to Jabba the Hut's big hole in the desert (the Skarlax or something?) which had me rolling on the floor LIKE THE DICKENS. God, good stuff!She never changes the tape, never even makes an effort to perhaps knock some of the accrued grime off.
Now, after many years of this, always with the same tape, she chews it up and swallows it, and then attempts to kiss you.
P.S.: GROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSS.Last but not least, propers to Dave for the bitchin' forum title with which I have been blessed.
Though you'd like it.
Thanks for all your posts, guys! Makes the job worthwhile.
I still like you blank, even if you read whilst 'bored'.
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May it be known that I'm only on the internet because I'm bored.
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[quote="Dave"]So am I Goggles now?
Yup.You're gonna hate this week's. All we DO is babble.
Eh, it's good to mix it up, I suppose. As long as one or the other of you is defenestrated, I don't care.You are scary.
Hell, I was showing restraint.[quote="Nataraja"]Seriously, Dave scares me just by existing.
What'd I do?
It's not what you've done, it's what you will do.I don't remember always being wrong.
Which is why you're always wrong. Bad memory.Glad to knwo you have so much confidence in the product!
Yeah, I'm sure I've had more sex than the whole of them combined, not to mention I only weigh half as much as ONE of them... but I just have this extreme character flaw. I can't STAND people not liking me, even people I vitrulently -hate-. It's weird, but it's just what I do.
Eh, I'll take hate over obscurity any day. Love me or hate me, you goddamn will notice me....do I need to work on my diction!
Try some Kegels exercises.
Oh snapping tutle!!!But you'll cry yourself to sleep at night.
Better to just be nice and win in the end?
Naw, we nice guys just cry harder.I'm not gonna say who this is, because there's a chance that this person's friend might read this and then reveal that we were ridiculing her. This is fine, and I'm not scared of reprisal, but I spend a good deal of time with this OTHER person and it would make things rather uncomfortable.
Basically it's a really fat annoying bitch that was being really fat loud and annoying, and Joel likened her to Jabba the Hut's big hole in the desert (the Skarlax or something?) which had me rolling on the floor LIKE THE DICKENS. God, good stuff!
Given the description, I can piece it together. And you say I'm gross?P.S.: GROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSS.
Dave, you know you'd be all over that like white on rice.
LIKE THE DICKENS! -
Due to some unforseen free time this morning, I actually listened to a podcast for the first time
quite hilarious
Ah I remember Park Towne those were some fun times.
And this podcast sounds like a normal conversation with Skabs - the ultimate walking segue
