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The "why I am miserable thread"



  • I'm a fucking girl, just like any other fucking girl. Don't fucking say you are so fucking open minded because you are a straight guy and would fucking consider dating a trans woman if you were really comfortable with them. Fuck you and the fucking horse you fucking rode in on.
  • :disappointed: Sounds like you had a rough night. I hope tomorrow is better.
  • One of my best friends (with whom I'm suppose to be roommates with soon) was sleeping over last night, which is normal. We were laying in be cuddling, which is again normal for us. She turns to me and just starts making out with me. After 10 minutes we stop and she freaks out. I told her she didn't do anything wrong, has no reason to apologize, and things will be ok. She ended up going home feeling like she fucked things up. :/
  • So this happened at my place of work. Thankfully I was not there, but I know some of the people that went to the hospital.
  • It seems walking to and from work everyday and working at a McDonald's has given me runners knee. Coupled with my shoulder starting to occasionally hurt and the random back pain, having just turned 26 is making me feel old.
  • random back pain turned into super duper bad back pain and a quick visit to the ER. Hello muscle relaxers my old friend.
  • So your pain is...back. (YEAAHHHHHHH)
  • Have a stonking hangover and must have some sort of seizure in my sleep as all my mussels are killing me. Even my teeth hurt from where I must have been clenching my jaw all night. Its rather strange.
  • The police are not responding to any of your fireworks complaints tonight, shut up. I don't care if you have work in the morning, do you respect my sleep during the day?
  • Breaking up with my girlfriend of nearly 2 years...I can't take never being able to see her
  • Long distance, or...?
  • edited August 2016
    No, she lives a half hour away. I tried to explain my feelings but she thinks I was just leading her along...I was hoping to salvage something because I do still care for her
  • Best to just move on.
  • Now her family is wanting me to get back with her...It's their trail of broken promises towards her that makes me feel like there's no stability to continue the relationship, that she'll always be stuck taking care of them and putting me off
  • You can care for someone without feeling like you are right for them (or they for you) as a romantic partner.
  • Yeah, I believe that wholeheartedly, trouble is that she hasn't grasped that concept yet. I was her first relationship. I feel so responsible for her
  • Dude, that sucks. I know that feel when someone rather cut you out completely rather than just being friends. Is hard but you will get over it, just surround yourself by people that care about you, take care of yourself for a while.
    Good luck!
  • man, I hope my wife doesn't die because I basically disintegrate when she takes a trip for two nights :\
  • I'm watching the Cowboy Bebop blu-ray and it isn't making me feel better. It's just reminding me of how rotten and lonely I felt all through college.
  • The Roach Tunnels live up to their name...
  • So I just got a call at work from a husband saying that his wife was sexually assaulted by several men, so of course I ask for the address saying that I'll send police and paramedics. This little scumshit says not to because they live in a "prestigious neighborhood" and he doesn't want anyone to know. Then he starts asking if he can use a fake name for her so there's no record of it having happened. He ends up hanging up saying he'll just put some pants on her and take her himself.

    I hate people.
  • ...that was for real? Like, not some joke or some weird role-play thing?
  • My RP usually involves knives and such. This was very much real and somehow more disgusting.
  • Humanity makes me sad sometimes. Time to see some pictures of puppies.
  • I use WoW. Thank goodness for the new expansion!
  • (this post is too long and not that miserable, actually it's pretty conceited, but it felt good to write it)

    I moved from MA to Los Angeles last year to pursue a career in television. The first 'job' I got was as an English tutor, where I had one face-to-face client and many people hoping I could write their essays about autism spectrum disorder and oxytocin. Through this guy I met a second face-to-face client (all of whom are Asian ESL students of varying age), who I'll call Reiko.

    Both the first guy and Reiko attend this buddhist church called the SGI, and to observe their English, I've sat in on several of these meetings and listened to seemingly hours of namyo hurengo. Time and again I'd think "What am I doing here?" I'm Christian Catholic, but more pressingly an atheist who hasn't had to think about religion in years. Reiko eventually invited me to an SGI auction/dinner, where I'd dress up in a suit and be driven to Orange County for some mysterious social gathering that would swallow up an entire Saturday, which is becoming painfully precious.

    The second job I got was as video producer for a live home shopping broadcast, which was a grueling job that required constant attention and focus -- no time to sprint to the bathroom, four-to-five hours straight. It took me months to get out of that one, where I even worked a day at a medical clinic as an x-ray technician, receptionist, nurse's assistant, do-the-laundry-guy, and take blood pressure guy before I realized it wasn't a workable alternative. Finally I did get another job, which is working out fine.

    I actually have a fondness for my old boss from that home shopping network, because she was very kind, and she called me this week to say that my replacement flaked and I can come back to work the weekend after next if she can't find a replacement? In fact, can you come back permanently at an obscene rate of $30/hr? It would be quite a regression, and I'm still nowhere near Hollywood proper.

    I called Reiko this morning and said "no," and she's impossible to say no to. She'll say "Oh, but..." convinced that going to this dinner tonight is good for someone like me, who doesn't get out and doesn't know anyone in a new city. But I told her I'm not comfortable with it, and after 20 minutes finally got out of it. I still have to formulate a "no" for my old boss.

    The only downer with my current job is that every day the boss comes around with "Hey, could you do some overtime today?" and "Hey, weekend overtime is available." I've done a few extra hours here and there so I don't look like a lazy fuck, which was especially important when I was temp status. But Christ, I have low overhead and am making more money than I'll ever need. As was true from the beginning, time is infinitely more valuable than money.

    The whole reason I moved out here was to focus on my career. And so when I'm stiffing people on OT or social functions or a nightmare job offer that will probably end in another unpleasant conversation, I think: "The main reason I'm doing this is to go home and write some shitty scifi story." Is it really worth it? HOW WORTH IT??

    Is this why nobody ever sees their dream come true, because the more they live life the sillier that dream becomes? Or even selfish? Writing is hard enough, but now writing while feeling guilty for making a 60-year-old Japanese woman feel bad is a big, flashing arrow away from this 'hobby.' This isn't how people are supposed to be, but I was totally fine with the idea of living life as a hermit -- no friends, no family, no girlfriend. The work was the only important thing, and now there's a conspiracy brewing against even that.

    I know I'm an anti-social person, but if being a sociable human being means backing people into corners and obligating them in a diversity of ways, for the first time in my life I am A-OKAY with being the way I am.

    Fuck off
  • You are never ever ever stiffing people by refusing to work OT.

    *IF* you feel as though your boss is doing a special favor by offering OT--that is, they think you need money and they're making up joe-jobs so you can get a bit extra, or they're offering you the OT hours before asking anyone else--then graciously decline; say "thanks, but I figure I've got everything done during regular time this week, and I want to do my own thing after hours--see you Monday!"

    On the other hand, if it's just "squeeze a few more hours from some sucker rather than hiring another whole employee"? FUCK THAT. You're not there for them.

    If you genuinely feel that a couple more work hours would complete an assignment that you'll feel better for having done, then sure, go for it. But don't work just to be working. You are never obligated to work just to be working.


    Also you aren't stiffing an old Japanese woman by not going to her church party. I had to deal with this with a co-worker of mine, who figured that a nice young single guy like me should definitely be going to the monthly church barbeque to have something to do on the weekend (oh yeah and also to be a shown off as a Decent Guy With A Good Steady Job, for all those grandparents worried about their single granddaughters of marrigeable age).

    It really sucks to have to say "no" sixty times to someone who genuinely seems to be a nice person who just wants you to be happy and figures that taking over your life is the way to do it, and it *is* kinda mean when you get down to it, but again, you don't owe her anything other than "no, I'm going to be busy working on my writing".
  • Hmm.

    Thanks, man -- really.

    Back to writing
  • The work culture in this country is stupid and while some people dont have the choice to set reasonable boundaries at work you should never feel bad for doing so if you have the option!

    Also yeah just keep insisting that you appreciate her effort to help, but you have projects you are committed to and you need to focus on those
  • A standard 5-day deployment turned into a 14 potential 24-day deployment at 13+ hours, weekends included. Yay on-call. This happened mid-deploy too, so we weren't even able to pack properly for it.
  • My roommate was admitted to the psychiatric hospital two days ago. The doctors tried to call me yesterday but I was at work and by the time I called back the doctor that called was out and no one would talk to me because I didn't have their patient number. I woke up yesterday and half the power in my apprt is out and i haven't been able to reach the electrition my landlord tried to have call me. And I woke up today and my fiances uncle died and they have like, 2 weeks till they get their meds refilled. I've been having an anxiety attack for the last day straight and I just want to cry.
  • That's a perfect storm. I'm sorry. Hopefully you can iron things out and your people are holding up.
  • edited December 2016
    Does it make me a bad person to feel vindication when an abusive ex fucks up their life?
  • Only a little, I think.
  • That is a feeling everyone at some point has felt. Anyone that says otherwise is a filthy liar that needs an honesty bath.
  • Exactly. Anyone who wouldn't/hasn't would be a saint.
  • I'm normally in good terms with my exes. The difference here is that they were legit abusive. They did shit like yell transphobic shit at me and then accuse me of being a shitty person for calling them out. Yelling at me for talking to support groups, saying I should never go to one, and so much more shit.
  • I don't even know this person and I'm kinda happy they fucked up their life, so I think you're ok.

    Also, really sorry about all the shit going on in your life right now, I hope things work out ok in the end.
  • KW, your post makes me think there's some times where you're like, "you know what? I didn't NEED to show the world how strong I was, how much adversity I could handle. I was kinda ok being only as strong as I was yesterday."
  • So my girlfriend just said she wanted to quit her job, lose her car, and give up on school and such to better fit my schedule. She's crazy, right? And I should get the hell away?
  • She should absolutely not do any of those things!

    "crazy get the hell away" is maybe not the answer just yet, but it's worth a conversation about what it is she wants...and maybe what you want, too. Like, maybe you don't *want* to be someone's sole source of emotional and financial support. Maybe you don't *want* someone's path to self-actualization to be subsuming themself into your life. That's kind of an imposition on you, really--an insistence that YOU will be the responsible one, YOU will make all the decisions, YOU will be in charge.
  • edited January 26
    You're right on the money with that, and I'm realizing that's what she wants and expects. I can't turn down doing something with her without her being heart broken and thinking I want to break up.
  • After a 3 hour long and counting panic attack today, I'm looking into how to file a restraining order.
  • edited March 9
    ewwwww :(
  • Have started going to the gym over the last couple of weeks and was amped to start another week off exercising. I went to my tiny little gym this morning and someone had shit on the locker room floor and it had permeated every single nook of the room. Real shitty way to start a monday...
  • One of our cats developed cancer a few months back and we had to have her put down this week. Additionally, today's the anniversary of my dad's death. May sucks.
  • Going to talk to my mom about moving out. I'm ill from the stress. My dad is on board, but we have to pretend that I've not talked to him about it or she'll react even more poorly.
  • Oh gezzer. That sucks. But you do also have a car. So you could just put as much stuff as you can fit and drive off into the sunset. Or a local hotel for a night or two while you find an apartment.
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