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favorite quote of the week

edited December 2010 in Fast Karate For The Gentleman
So...maybe I am quote happy, I mean I quote everything, stuff that no one could possibly get, and by that I don’t mean oh, I'm so awesome because what I am quoting is so sophisticated and obscure. What I mean is that I hear something that the hot dog guy on the corner says and it sticks in my head so I keep quoting it.
So basically by quote happy I actually mean insane. In any case, I like quotes, they’re like little prepackaged phoneme fun in a can. The cheezewhiz or cheese log of language (anyone notice that they taste the same? Then again I haven’t had either since like 6th grade)

So yeah, in the bold tradition of establishing secondary sources i.e. listener feedback on the wonderful interplay of wording and miswording that is the Fast Karate I hereby propose a favorite quote of the week. So... here is the story behind mine...
to be fair, i am easily distracted by shiny things and the internet is very shiny, but I was all wandering the internet half aware of what I was listening to, which happened to be so fast in its karateness that I could hardly keep up, when I happened on my favorite quote of the week so far:

"I know what your thinking: "most Polynesians are incredibly fat." That is because they have mcdonalds. There’s NO MCDONALDS ON LOST"

If there are any other quote whores then lets hear some favorite quotes you quote happy fools.
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Comments

  • Dude , what the hell did I just read
  • I caught the tail end of someone's conversation while walking down a street in Philly:
    "... mapquest, the car, and Mom all agreed."
  • "xenomouse" said:
    I caught the tail end of someone's conversation while walking down a street in Philly:
    "... mapquest, the car, and Mom all agreed."
    Wait... i think i missed the point of this exercise. Are we collecting dave and joel quotes?
  • "xenomouse" said:
    [quote="xenomouse"]I caught the tail end of someone's conversation while walking down a street in Philly:
    "... mapquest, the car, and Mom all agreed."
    Wait... i think i missed the point of this exercise. Are we collecting dave and joel quotes?[/quote]

    That was the idea, although now that i am re-reading my post from last night, i am a little confused myself.
    To be fair, i was drunk, and also very tired, but unable to sleep. Hope that makes up for the incoherence!

    so yeah, fast karate quotes!
  • "grumps" said:
    [quote="xenomouse"][quote="xenomouse"]I caught the tail end of someone's conversation while walking down a street in Philly:
    "... mapquest, the car, and Mom all agreed."
    Wait... i think i missed the point of this exercise. Are we collecting dave and joel quotes?[/quote]

    That was the idea, although now that i am re-reading my post from last night, i am a little confused myself.
    To be fair, i was drunk, and also very tired, but unable to sleep. Hope that makes up for the incoherence!

    so yeah, fast karate quotes![/quote]

    No way , You were drunk ?
  • What, you think women aren't allowed to be drunk?
  • "karaokeninja" said:
    What, you think women aren't allowed to be drunk?
    Depend on the woman :P
  • "djdrastic" said:
    No way , You were drunk ?
    i was really really drunk, either that or i was unwittingly having a stroke and half my brain was out of oxygen all night. either way, impaired
  • Drink drank drunk.
  • Its alarming how many flames and rambling posts are ended by either:

    Sorry I was drunk...or....If I sound like an asshole it's because I was up all night....

    Nothing specific to you Grumps, I thought your post was fine. It just makes me wonder, can everybody be that wasted and sleepy?
  • "the other Jason" said:
    Its alarming how many flames and rambling posts are ended by either:

    Sorry I was drunk...or....If I sound like an asshole it's because I was up all night....

    Nothing specific to you Grumps, I thought your post was fine. It just makes me wonder, can everybody be that wasted and sleepy?
    I cant speak for anyone else but my answer is:
    almost constantly.
  • "I know what your thinking: "most Polynesians are incredibly fat." That is because they have mcdonalds. There’s NO MCDONALDS ON LOST"

    I understand what he meant to say, but he stumbled over the word so it sounded like "Peloponnesians." Maybe you should refamiliarize yourself with history, JOEL. The Spartans achieved military superiority in Greece not by their tactical prowess or naval combat, but through STEELY WASHBOARD ABS.
  • I was wondering why neither wikipedia nor the cia factbook had an entry for "Polyponesia."
  • "karaokeninja" said:
    What, you think women aren't allowed to be drunk?
    Crap , didn't my sarcasm tag fire at all ?
  • I'm partial to: "I'll burn that bridge when I come to it."

    This malapropism has cropped up repeatedly in statements made by both myself and my mother, the Mistress of Malapropisms. I'm glad to see we're not the only ones who conflate crossing bridges with burning them. <img class=" title="Mr. Green" />
  • edited May 2007
    Great, now we're conflating the two posts ive done, like, ever. way to go guys. I'm sooo effaced.

    FACE

    Did they say burn that bridge when i come to it in an episode? If not your'e out of order!!

    although, i probably will burn that bridge when i come to it, because, coincidentally that is actually my especial-ity.
  • Threads! I mean threads, damn my lack of internet suave!
  • "grumps" said:
    Did they say burn that bridge when i come to it in an episode? If not your'e out of order!!
    I said it, though I don't remember the context.

    I don't really consider it much of a malapropism, it was, at least, purposefully used by me.

    Can we call them 'bon mots' instead? That sounds a lot less pejorative... and makes me sound a lot less dumb. :(
  • I made my favorite malapropism into a fan-made promo, THAT I HAVEN'T HEARD ANYWHERE ELSE, MISTER DAVE AND JOEL SIRS

    I think "burn that bridge when I come to it" is pretty common.
  • Wait... the Masamune Shirow promo? I don't recall getting any others...

    Am I just not keeping up with teh emails? :?
  • "Dave" said:
    Wait... the Masamune Shirow promo? I don't recall getting any others...

    Am I just not keeping up with teh emails? :?
    Uh, the sticky thread IN THIS FORUM that says "Podcast Promos"?
  • OK, I stumbled on this one, but when I read it, it struck a chord with me...right here *places hand over chest*

    So yeah, in fact I consider myself to be a Fast Karate quote officianado. I find myself saying things, due to how often I hear them said, and as I am, sadly, a bit of an FK fan girl *puts away her Joel banner and her Dave teddy bear* I figured I could bestow upon you all a couple of my absolute favorites.

    'Sir, sir! You're writing on the back of a hoagie!'

    'Robots...love dust.'

    'This is delicious kitten, you must eat it.'

    'You ain't a chair no more cat, you ain't a chair no more.'

    Actually...the majority of those came from the same episode...the Megaman episode, which is just damn hilarious.

    ALSO, once in a conversation I said both 'Oh SNAP!' and '...and that's where you don't wanna be'...I am shamed...meh, what're ya gonna do.
  • "You got chocolate in my peanut butter...

    You got robots in my mass planet genocide plan...

    Together, they both taste great!"
  • Sita-con eppy:

    Dave: I thought 'best case scenerio, we wasted five hours driving, there was no Sitacon. Worse case scenerio, cobras!'.
  • "Bass_kat" said:
    Sita-con eppy:

    Dave: I thought 'best case scenerio, we wasted five hours driving, there was no Sitacon. Worse case scenerio, cobras!'.
    Lol. I laughed my ass off at that one. :)

    Here's another one.

    Fourth Dimension Gaming:

    -Oh it's like Final Fantasy X 2!
    -No, it's ten...it's ten-2
    -No,no,no..It's like mega man! When they made Mega man 10 they started calling it mega man X!
    -wha..no!..Mega man 10 came out after Mega man 7....And there is no Mega-man 9!!

    Also this one:

    Dave: So we got any iTunes people out there? Send email to Dave@FrontBeat.com. It's Front..like in front of you...and beat...like your wife.
    Joel: You gonna comment on what you just said?
  • 'And this boat had 3,000 cars on it, and this boat has a sail. And it's just bobbing...bobbing...bobbing on the ocean.
    ..
    ..
    ..
    ARR, THIS IS A PIRATE SHIP! ARR!'

    And that's when you wake up and piss yourself!

    'We Chinese Junk. We escape bird flu.'
  • "So we're playing the game and she's letting me get all the power ups because I suck. She's like 'get the speed shoes' and I'm like 'I got the last speed shoes' and she's like 'no it's cool get'em...because I will never sleep with you again...' and I'm like 'what'? 'Get the lightning potion!' 'Alright.... I LOVE THE LIGHTNING POTION!'"
  • Fave Joel quotes!

    'Those were the best 20 games I ever played in under a minute'.

    'Brazilian rainforest? It's like...grrr, grrr...AH AH AH! RAAARRR! THE FIRE ANTS ARE IN MY MOUTH!!!'
  • Quote from "The Ralith Show"

    Homeless Person: Hey do you have any spare change?
    Joel: No....but what I do have for you is a knight stick.
  • "Ohhh, Cathy is gonna be so pissed... When I HIT HER IN THE FACE WITH THE DOOR!"
  • I'm sorry, she can't be moved, she's a load-bearing wife now.
  • (Candy Corn Soda) "What does a manly scream of terror sound like?"

    (AAA I'M CRAZY) "Profiling is very easy with Gay Al-Qaeda."
  • Quote from "The Esoteric Dodge"

    Joel: Did you hear about this guy Jesus? He totally saved me!
    Dave: He's also totally leet with a sniper rifle.
  • Despite it being a quote of a quote, when Joel says "Now we sing for Mothra! LALALALALALA!" I crack up every time. I want to learn how to isolate just that audio so that I can play it whenever I feel like it. Just, feeling a little off, I need to hear Joel summon Mothra.
  • 3/18/06, "Dinobots?"

    Joel: Would fire even work against a robot?
    Dave: Robot fire, obviously, I mean he's got it for a reason...

    Dave: So she's gonna be like "Dinobots, huh?" and I'm gonna be like "SOUNDWAVE, BITCH!"
  • 07-09-11, "A manta ray appears in the sky being ridden by a zombie Hitler Inspector Gadget and crashes into a house!"
  • 01/28/06: Straight Jacked


    Dave: I wanna read the screen directions for 24;

    Chloe makes a sour face.
    Chloe furrows her eyebrows.
    Chloe gets all grumpy and storms out of the room.

    then later Dave as Chloe:

    "Oh you weren't so cavalier when I let you pee on my chest."
  • 10/17/06, "Big Adventures in Little New York"

    Dave: I'd stop and edit that out, but then we'd lose our train of conciousness.

    (side note: most of these quotes are from Dave. But without Joel to act as the solid foundation of Fast Karate, Dave would not be able to attain the heights of lunatic ranting that he achieves. Fast Karate is a TEAM, and just like all teams there is the Italian plumber who rides on top, and the green dinosaur who is the mount.)
  • 02/03/07 - Rocket Ninjas in Space, Fighting Crime

    Joel: Yea. Being known for Tulips and Windmills...thats not a bad thing either. The French are known for being rude.............Asian people have small wangs.........and the Netherland people love windmills.
    Dave: American people are fat.......and lazy...AND Stupid!
  • Joel:"you know, typical ‘we're gonna appeal to little kids by making them the heroes’..."
    Dave:"Yeah, like, ‘get it, you’re smarter than the adults!’"
    Joel:"Which is really a good lesson to teach kids, because they don’t even know not to play in traffic."
    Dave:"Yeah. There were a lot of times, when I was kid, where I thought I was smarter than my parents. And I think almost unanimously I was wrong on, like, every step. Like, ‘Hey, you shouldn’t light baseball bats on fire and swing them around,’ and I’m like ’...... I think I probably should. In fact, I’m like 100% sure that this is the right course of action!’ And that’s why I don’t have any hair on my arms."
  • 9/16/07 "We're still doing this, I guess"

    Dave: "See, this is where lack of preparation bites you on the butt."
  • Dave: They are like Nerd, Fratboy, emo, Hipsters! They are like everything bad all at the same time.
  • From the latest episode "09/19/07 - Japanese Wives Should Be Bitches"

    Dave: Uh that's what abused women do. They're like "No no! Rocco's not that bad. I just fall into doors alot."
  • 07/09/26 "It Gets The Blood Up"

    "See, there's Genom. On the surface, they're, like, a friendly company that makes toilet paper. But underneath, they wanna take over the world."
  • "I pray to God by the time this assault rifle stops firing you're dead. Because I have no backup plan."
    --Joel, 10/03/07
  • "I don't want to be buried with Snowcrash, I want to be buried in Snowcrash. I'm going to call Neal Stephenson and commission the biggest printing ever." - Dave
    "Finally, a volume of Snowcrash big enough to match my ego." - Joel as Neal Stephenson.
  • From the "Next" review over at "Greatest Movie Ever":

    JOEL: The only way [she] could be more profane would be if she was reading straight from the Necronomicon.

    JOEL: If someone knows that they're going to watch the worst movie in the history of the world, then they'll prepare themselves for that. Like, they'll walk in wearing a cup.
  • Joel: 'Have you seen what they did to Johnson? He was deul wielding sir.
    I don't care, I'm gonna go fight him with this cigar! And he like runs up to the elite, and he like burns it in his eye....Raarrr! I'm sorry!'

    Dave: 'Ah! Stop! Stop please! Please stop raping me in front of my children!'
  • "Captain Awesome, etc."

    Joel: I would last about three seconds in a post-apocalyptic scenario, because I would get bored and lonely...
    Dave: And you would have already eaten all the Twinkies.
  • From the first Bubblegum Crisis episode...

    Dave: The music in this show is just... I say with all surety that there has never actually been another good anime soundtrack.
    Joel: Not true.
    Dave: It's true.
    Joel: Not true. [...] Cowboy Bebop's soundtrack was awesome.
    Dave: Never heard it.
    Joel: You've h- you have all four CDs!
    Dave: I'm unfamiliar with it.
    Joel: (laughing)
    Dave: (There's actually six.)
    Joel: Oh, jeez.
    Dave: (Including the movie.)
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