A VERY SPECIAL REVENGE(CAST) – this week we have a mystery guest and lots to talk about! Ok not really a mystery guest, it’s SomeVito/Patrick! He graces us with his SomeVitoish presence, and its a good thing too, because we have a lot to get through this week since LEGACY is a veritable nesting doll of flashbacks within tinier, cuter flashbacks, and he somehow manages to keep us (mostly) on track. Victoria is in THE PAAST a lot, and so is Amanda; NOT fauxmanda, just pre-Emily-Manda who is, apparently, bad at literally everything. We open with her nearly beating a man to death with a toilet lid, which is fun for all, but she’s also just wasting her life (and generally getting wasted) going through her billions one 10,000 dollar cigarette at a time. She rolls into Montauk and hits up the Stowaway where she sees Jack, who is walking in slow motion like its the beginning of More Than A Feeling and he has the wig to match. At the Stowaway she gets the skinny on the local catering racket, and so Amanda crashes the Grayson’s New Years Awkward Conspirator Gala, hosted in order to ferret out the traitor in their midst. But who is the traitor? How many people does Frank torture? How many wigs are there? Whose house did Nolan strip out from under them? How awesome is Mason? You’re just going to have to listen to find out!
Topics for Consideration:
Victoria is summoned to the Grayson manor situation room
Mason’s Velvet Tux
Mason Runs a Clinic on Dr. Banksy
That Guy That’s in all the Stuff
Jack punches Nolan
Nolan tries to befriend Jack for one decade (in human years)
Ok so Sammy really is like 25 guys, we counted
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This show also known as: It’s My Move, It’s My Move JoJo
Even though it’s proven that torture doesn’t work, arguably I think it would be useful in case of D’Arby holding your friends hostage as literal poker chips.
Music Selection: You gotta believe [in the manga]
This show is about:
Two things I meant to mention and didn’t:
1) Hol Horse’s ridiculous, anachronistic VAPE PEN.
GTF out of here you GD trash person.
2) Hol Horse wants to eat poop that’s canon man.
In this episode we learn how far Emily is willing to go to not care about absolution, because if her revengenemies aren’t going to seek absolution, then neither will she. So no one will be getting absolved ever, no really, Emily is all “I’m going to do things I can’t take back ohhh spooky scary.” One of the things she can’t take back is when she leaves Nolan a sobbing mess on the floor, because Nolan betrayed her, but not really. She still makes him cry though. We feel bad for Croyden because those rich assholes deserved it, but she gets a Lexus from Conrad which somehow makes the years of abuse and malnutrition ok. Conrad has does some eavesdropping and confused teacup holding. He later finds the snifters and reveals that he has been using Danny as a pawn in his relationship with Victoria for far too long. Danny is surprised? But more importantly everyone is now pretending to be Nermal. Except for Charlotte, who is too sad to do anything.
Topics for Consideration:
Everyone Is Named Mary
DHS Allison Rodner Reporting for Duty
Babyette Lewis & The Longest Way of the Gun Recap
Aunt Carol official #1 – in the who’s who of who knows about Armalarm
Victoria I’m Nermal
Aunt Carol I’m Nermal
The Caucus of the Dumbos
A Way Out of the Basement That Never Was: An Ashley Davenport Story: Living With Rich Assholes: Please Send Food, I’m Still Down Here.
Danny’s Rhyming Dictionary of Girls’ Names That Rhyme With French Cities (For Poetry)